IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some urban areas , public
parks
Use synonyms
 and open areas are replaced with
gardens
Use synonyms
 where local
people
Use synonyms
 can grow their own
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend can bring advantages for local residents including,
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to eat healthy food. I believe
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 trend greater outweigh
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 because it can have negative impacts on local
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
, and make local
people
Use synonyms
 less social. On the one hand, the primary benefit of
alter
Change the verb form
altering
show examples
 public
parks
Use synonyms
 and
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
 spaces to
gardens
Use synonyms
 is
motivate
Fix the infinitive
to motivate
show examples
 local
inhabitants
Use synonyms
 to eat healthy food.
This
Linking Words
 is because
this
Linking Words
 trend can increase
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
 of
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 for local
people
Use synonyms
, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 more
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will eat
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, local
Use synonyms
inhabitants
Change noun form
inhabitants'
inhabitant's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 will enhance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would like to argue drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 development significantly far more than
Correct article usage
the
show examples
upsides. The first drawback of changing public
parks
Use synonyms
 and open zones to
gardens
Use synonyms
 is can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to adverse consequences on local
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, plant
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 can attract many insects, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 some insects can spread diseases namely, cancer, HIV, and Ebola among local
inhabitants
Use synonyms
.
Make
Wrong verb form
Making
show examples
 local
inhabitants
Use synonyms
 less social is another downside of
this
Linking Words
 development.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 often use public
parks
Use synonyms
 and open spaces to socialize with their friends or
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
neighborhood
Add an article
the neighborhood
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
show examples
 public
parks
Use synonyms
 and open spaces with
gardens
Use synonyms
 can make local
people
Use synonyms
 more isolated, which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can make local
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more likely to get mental
health
Use synonyms
 issues namely, depression, anxiety, and stress.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
altering public
parks
Use synonyms
 and
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
 places to garden for local
inhabitants
Use synonyms
 in order to grow their own
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 can bring upsides for local residents including,
incentivies
Correct your spelling
incentivizes
incentives
incentivise
people
Use synonyms
 to eat healthy food. I think
Correct article usage
the
show examples
drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 development outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 because it can have
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
 influence on local
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
Use synonyms
, and make local
people
Use synonyms
 less social.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
What to do next:
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