In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

In some urban areas , public
parks
and open areas are replaced with
gardens
where local
people
can grow their own
fruit
and
vegetables
.
Although
this
trend can bring advantages for local residents including,
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
to eat healthy food. I believe
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
show examples
of
this
trend greater outweigh
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
because it can have negative impacts on local
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
, and make local
people
less social. On the one hand, the primary benefit of
alter
Change the verb form
altering
show examples
public
parks
and
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
spaces to
gardens
is
motivate
Fix the infinitive
to motivate
show examples
local
inhabitants
to eat healthy food.
This
is because
this
trend can increase
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
of
fruit
and
vegetables
for local
people
, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
more
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
will eat
fruit
and
vegetables
.
Therefore
, local
inhabitants
Change noun form
inhabitants'
inhabitant's
show examples
health
will enhance.
On the other hand
, I would like to argue drawbacks of
this
development significantly far more than
Correct article usage
the
show examples
upsides. The first drawback of changing public
parks
and open zones to
gardens
is can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to adverse consequences on local
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
. To illustrate, plant
fruit
and
vegetables
can attract many insects, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
some insects can spread diseases namely, cancer, HIV, and Ebola among local
inhabitants
.
Make
Wrong verb form
Making
show examples
local
inhabitants
less social is another downside of
this
development.
This
is because
people
often use public
parks
and open spaces to socialize with their friends or
people
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
neighborhood
Add an article
the neighborhood
show examples
.
Consequently
,
replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
show examples
public
parks
and open spaces with
gardens
can make local
people
more isolated, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can make local
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more likely to get mental
health
issues namely, depression, anxiety, and stress.
To sum up
,
Although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
altering public
parks
and
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
places to garden for local
inhabitants
in order to grow their own
fruit
and
vegetables
can bring upsides for local residents including,
incentivies
Correct your spelling
incentivizes
incentives
incentivise
people
to eat healthy food. I think
Correct article usage
the
show examples
drawbacks of
this
development outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
because it can have
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
influence on local
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
, and make local
people
less social.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
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