In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

In some

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

parents encourage their

children

to work as hard as possible in order to achieve their goals.

Although

this

concept can help them improve their

persistency

Replace the word

persistence

show examples

, it can be disappointing if they fail.

This

essay will take a look at some pros and cons resulting from spreading

this

message. To

stat

Correct your spelling

start

show examples

with the advantages, the concept of hard work being the key element of success can entice

children

to do their best and

Unnecessary verb

apply

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not give up easily on what their want.

For instance

, when their parents put them in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

conditional situation and reward them

subsequently

, they will realize their hardship eventually ends with an impressive result, so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they deploy the same technique in other aspects of their life, learning a new skill, language or in sports competitions.

Consequently

, they grow up as hard workers and

diligences

Correct your spelling

diligence

show examples

On the other hand

, the idea can bring some disadvantages to their

overall

happiness and their self steam.

For instance

, some

children

might not be talented in artwork but when they are forced to pursue art classes by their parents following the same message, they will eventually become depressed. The reason behind

this

fact is that they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

learnt and internalized they can get where exactly they want through hard work.

Moreover

, these

children

are unable to identify and even try other sides of their potential talents mainly because they do not want to see the reality. In conclusion,

this

belief is beneficial in some cases where

children

have gained enough understanding of their talents and power points.

Otherwise

, they will end up being so

disappointing

Replace the word

disappointed

show examples

because they can not accept the truth

Submitted by sahar.fazelitabar on Thu Aug 03 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.