Some Young People are leaving the countryside to live in towns and cities, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

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These young generations tend to leave their hometown including their family only to live in a new foreign

city

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This

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essay will suggest the problems that might emerge from

this

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issue as

such

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the teenagers will get culture shock and struggle to live comfortably.

However

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, there are obvious solutions to these problems, which are they need to keep their boundaries and control their financial plan smartly.

First,

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the major problem caused by

this

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issue is that young people will easily be influenced by the new community they meet in the cities. The concerning part is when they socialise with people who engage in morally unacceptable activities like going to the club, drinking alcohol, and vaping.

Moreover

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, these youth might live a struggle as the cost of living in the big

city

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is higher.

This

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will lead them to be under great stress to sort out things only by themselves, without any family support nearby.

However

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, from all these problems, there are numerous solutions to it. The adolescents who decide to move out from their hometown need to have a principle and integrity in their life so that when they meet new people, they know their boundaries, and set the limit on certain things they do when socialising with everyone.

This

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will ensure to be protected from participating in any illegal activity from the culture shock they get.

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, they can

also

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live comfortably if they put more effort into working part-time in order to gain extra money aside from the allowance they get from their family.

This

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will lessen their burden in the highly cost

city

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and

also

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increase their survival skills for adulthood. In conclusion, the problem like having culture shock and financially unstable can actually be prevented from happening if the youngsters themselves know how to have boundaries in their life and prepare financially before going out from the countryside to live in a

city

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they are foreign with

eimanasrinooh Fri Aug 04 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Certainly, let's enhance the essay to potentially achieve a Band 9 in IELTS Writing:

Some Young People are leaving the countryside to live in towns and cities, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?