IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook and Whatsapp have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society. To what extent do you agree.

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In recent years, there have been arguments both for and against social
media
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 platforms.
While
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 the broad-based benefits of social
media
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 sites have been widely acknowledged around the world, I agree with the view that they do more harm than good. On the one hand, social networking sites can be beneficial to both individuals and businesses in many different ways.
First,
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some of these sites,
such
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 as Facebook and
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
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, have enabled excellent global communication over the past few years.
For example
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, it is now impossible to connect with users from all around the world on Facebook, allowing people to exchange large amounts of information and develop better cross-cultural understanding, which can be particularly beneficial in our increasingly globalized society.
Second,
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businesses can create higher returns on investment thanks to social networking platforms. In fact, ad teams can now segment populations on these platforms into targeted groups, which are selected by machine learning algorithms that recognize patterns in consumer behaviour and determine which messages resonate best with each individual.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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 can be harmful to a great extent. Since social
media
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 is addictive both physically and psychologically, it can lead to lower productivity at work. In fact, numerous studies have shown that workers who are heavy social
media
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 users experience higher levels of procrastination at work, resulting in poor work performance.
In addition
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, overusing social
media
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 can cause decreased physical activity, which may affect
overall
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 health.
For instance
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,
according to
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 research, inadequate physical exercise can lead to cardiovascular diseases, including heart disease and stroke. In short,
it is clear that
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 social
media
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 can be beneficial to a certain extent in today's world.
However
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, I agree that its drawbacks are becoming more significant since people are increasingly addicted to it, which can lead to it.

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task response
Ensure that all points discussed are relevant to the given topic and that the opinion is clearly presented throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, with a logical structure. However, the support for the main points could be further developed to strengthen coherence.
lexical resource
The lexical resource demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and appropriate use of collocations in places. However, strive to use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay displays a good range of grammatical structures and uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. It is essential to ensure that subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and word forms are accurately used, and to avoid repetition of the same words or phrases.
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