In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work and not at home, do you agree or disagree?

#countries #teenagers #people #parents #time #work #home

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In the temporary era, the young person has a lot of social problems

such

as antisocial and violence. Some people argue that

this

is because too many

parents

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

their time at their job and are indifferent to their

children

. In my

view

, I strongly agree with

this

point of

view

. My

view

as well as

my thoughts will be highlighted in

this

write-up.

To begin

with, it is true that

parents

are too busy to care about their

children

nowadays.

This

is because they need to concentrate on their jobs,

due to

there being too much competition and pressure on the work.

In addition

, a lot of young individuals look after their

children

Change preposition

through

show examples

technology stuff

such

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

, switch and

iPad

Correct your spelling

iPads

instead

of themselves.

For instance

, if their

children

are too annoying when they are eating, they will bring their

parents

' smartphones to make them quiet.

On the other hand

, many individuals thoughts they have to work hard and make more money which can let their family reduce the burden of finances and

boosts

Correct subject-verb agreement

boost

show examples

their quality of life.

Moreover

, some

parents

say that they just need to provide the amount of money to their child without paying attention and do not even care about school, relationships and how they feel. In my point of

view

this

is the main reason that cause teenagers have some social problems

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they use the wrong way to care for their child. In conclusion, it is positive

Change preposition

that

show examples

parents

desire to make money for the family financially and improve their lifestyle.

However

although

they are busy, they need to pay attention to their

children

too.

Submitted by may55207474 on Fri Aug 04 2023

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task response

Ensure to address all parts of the essay prompt clearly and provide a more balanced view by acknowledging potential counterarguments.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas by using clear topic sentences, transitions, and a stronger concluding statement to summarize the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work and not at home, do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactered food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. SUgar products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country ? Descuss both view and tell you own idea

The barchart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and tradition methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.