Increasingly, many young people are deciding to work or study in other countries. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
It has become a recent trend that
people
study
and work in different countries
. The most significant cause of this
is a broader experience to improve their skills and knowledge, for
which I believe is a positive phenomenon regardless of some concerns Change preposition
apply
of
the declining number of potential Change preposition
about
people
staying in their home countries
.
On the one hand, studying and working abroad is beneficial to those who aspire to gain diverse experiences to advance their skills. In other words
, there is the
growing curiosity toward learning in other nations because they provide more sophisticated Correct article usage
a
as well as
unique programs that people
cannot have in their own countries
. For instance
, I had a valuable time in
a university in the United States as I had a stimulating experience by learning educational theories of different approaches and participating in various fieldwork at junior high schools, which were all useful in deepening my understanding of teaching. Change preposition
at
Furthermore
, studying abroad not only encourages people
to increase Correct pronoun usage
their motivations
motivations
for Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
study
but also
to tackle issues more critically.
On the other hand
, staying in foreign nations for work and study
brings a negative consequence for the national economy
due to
the severe shortage of talented workforce. Indeed, as more people
are interested in improving their skills in other nations and continue to stay there, the damage that countries
gain to their own economy
is serious. To illustrate Fix the agreement mistake
economies
this
, the GDP in Japan dropped severely by nearly 15% in 2010 when as many as 26 million people
left the country for work and study
. Thus
, the declining number of skilful workers leads to lower productivity and less creativity, which harms the national economy
.
In conclusions
, I believe that the trend of studying and working in other Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
countries
is advantageous since they are able to gain more stimulating experiences to enhance their knowledge and techniques. However
, the shortage of talented workforce has become an emergent issue, which leads to the
stagnant Correct article usage
a
economy
.Submitted by mizuho on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a consistent structure throughout the essay. Although paragraphs are logically ordered, sometimes transitioning between ideas can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Improvements can be made by including more cohesive devices or linking words to make the essay flow better.
task achievement
Although the essay is quite comprehensive, make sure to elaborate a bit more on the conclusion. A strong, concise concluding statement can leave a lasting impression.
task achievement
Focus on providing a more balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects. This can add depth and show a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the causes of the phenomenon and whether it is positive or negative.
task achievement
The examples provided, like the personal experience in the United States and the drop in GDP in Japan, are specific and relevant, effectively supporting the main points.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points while also presenting a balanced viewpoint.