Music plays an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#music #role #society #form #entertainment #individuals

One of the heated issues is that

music

is now becoming a significant feature of modern life. Many

people

think that

music

is just used for entertainment purposes.

However

, I do believe that

music

can bring enormous benefits to society. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion on

this

issue. There is no doubt that many individuals find

music

just a form of entertainment. There are many reasons for

this

. For one thing, in

this

day and age,

people

tend to work more than they did in the past, so they do not have enough time to relax after labour hours. For another,

music

might be unattractive to many

people

. The most familiar example of

this

is that in Vietnam, labourers have to work a lot, many

people

even have to work more than 8 hours a day. For that reason, after coming home, they may easily become exhausted and they do not have time to enjoy

music

On the other hand

, many

people

who are very busy with their jobs prefer listening to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

melodies because they found their passion for

music

. It seems quite clear that many individuals have no interest in

music

because of various reasons. It is well known that

music

is now growing its popularity

Change preposition

among

show examples

many

people

, especially the youth. Obviously,

music

plays a vital role in mental life. It is proven that listening to

music

can help to boost

people

’s mental health.

For example

, many hospitals in Northern Europe use listening to harmonious melodies as a therapy for patients.

In addition

music

also

the field in which artists can express their individual

taste

Fix the agreement mistake

tastes

show examples

and identity. There are numerous singers and

music

producers becoming famous among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young

people

because of their talent and unique

music

style. In short,

music

is an essential part

Change preposition

show examples

the development of humanity’s mental life. In a nutshell,

music

plays an important role in society.

Nevertheless

, there are many individuals who find

music

simply a form of

relaxing

Replace the word

relaxation

show examples

for numerous reasons.

Submitted by sinh.ielts on Fri Aug 04 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural tool
shared identity
cognitive development
creativity
mental health
music therapy
chronic pain
entertainment value
personal escape
cultural background

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Music plays an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

The government should spend money on trains than roads To what extent do you agree or disagree

79.Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?