In most countries multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Multinational
companies
Use synonyms
nowadays find it convenient both to market their goods all over the world and set up production facilities wherever they find it convenient. In my ,opinion
this
Linking Words
has had an adverse effect on our quality of life in three main areas.   The first area is their
products
Use synonyms
. Supporters of globalization would argue that multinational
companies
Use synonyms
make high-quality goods available to more people.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
may be true to some extent, it
also
Linking Words
means that we have less choice of
products
Use synonyms
to consume. When powerful multinational
companies
Use synonyms
invade local markets with their goods, they often are obliged by local
companies
Use synonyms
with fewer resources to go out of business. In consequence, we are obliged to buy multinational
products
Use synonyms
whether we like them or not.   
This
Linking Words
brings me to my second point. It is sometimes said that multinational
companies
Use synonyms
and globalisation are making societies more open.
This
Linking Words
may be true.
However
Linking Words
, I would point out that as a ,result the human race is losing its cultural diversity. If we consumed varied
products
Use synonyms
, societies, wherever we live, would be more varied.
This
Linking Words
can be seen by the fact that we all shop in
identicalmultinational
Correct your spelling
multinational
supermarkets and buy identical
products
Use synonyms
wherever we live.   
Thirdly
Linking Words
, defenders of multinational
companies
Use synonyms
often point out that they provide jobs.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
is undoubtedly true, it
also
Linking Words
means that we have become more valuable to them, which in turn makes us more vulnerable to their decisions. When,
for example
Linking Words
, a multinational decides to move its production facilities to another country,
this
Linking Words
has an adverse effect on its workers who lose their jobs.   All in all, I believe that if we as voters pressured our governments to make multinational
companies
Use synonyms
more responsible and to protect local producers from outside competition, we could have the benefits of globalisation without its disadvantages.
Submitted by tfhe1112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your response addresses the task adequately, covering the impact of multinational companies on quality of life and presenting three main areas of concern. Ensure that each main point is well-developed with specific examples and connections to the thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. To improve further, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Also, ensure that each paragraph is focused on a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: