IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the changing patters of access to modern technology in homes in the UK.

The graph below shows the changing patters of access to modern technology in homes in the UK.
#patters #access #technology #homes #uk
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart demonstrates four modern technologies and their trends in
UK
Use synonyms
 households between 1994 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, all four technologies show an upward trend during the period.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1994 to 1995, the CD
player
Use synonyms
 was the only contemporary technology to appear in the chart, owned by nearly 50% of
UK
Use synonyms
 families. In the next year, mobile phones, first introduced in homes in the
UK
Use synonyms
, accounted for 20%,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of CD players was three times more.
During
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1998 to 1999, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 was invented, with 10% of
UK
Use synonyms
 households having an
Internet
Use synonyms
 connection. DVD
player
Use synonyms
 first appeared in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 2002, owned by nearly 30% of
UK
Use synonyms
 families,
Then
Linking Words
DVD
Correct article usage
the DVD
show examples
player
Use synonyms
 became to overtake
Internet
Use synonyms
 and mobile phone, and
finally
Linking Words
 become the most popular technology in the chart in 2008 with nearly 90% of
UK
Use synonyms
 family user, followed by CD
player
Use synonyms
, mobile phone and
Internet
Use synonyms
 connection with 85%, 80% and 70% respectively.
Submitted by yienliu0019 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, player, internet with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: