The chart shows ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries.

The chart shows ways that schoolchildren get to school in three different countries.
The chart presents information about how pupils in three different countries travel to
school
, separated into 6 different categories.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
the United States and the United Kingdom, the majority of
students
travel by car to
school
, with figures of 40% and 39% respectively. In
Australia
Add a comma
,Australia
show examples
only a quarter of
students
use
this
mode of transport. The
school
bus is the most common method of getting to
school
in Australia; in the
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
the number is only slightly behind those travelling by car. Less than a quarter use the
school
bus in the UK. Almost four times as many Australian
students
walked to
school
compared to the USA, with the UK being closer to Australia at 15%. The remaining three categories showed only slight differences between the countries, with public transport being followed by cycling, and
finally
a category marked as 'other', which represents only about
one twentieth
Add a hyphen
one-twentieth
show examples
of the total in each country.
Overall
, there are differences between the countries, but the
school
bus and cars represent the most common ways for
students
to travel to
school
.
Submitted by kmuxayyo97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: