IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can government encourage people to take public transport?

#people #cars #transport #trend #government
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It is irrefutable that private
vehicles
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 can be used by numerous masses as compared to public transportation.There are ample of causes why
people
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 choose their own
car
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,
such
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 as time-convenient, safe
as well as
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 comfortable rather than other
vehicles
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.
However
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,the
government
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 should apply certain policies to encourage
people
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 to
use
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buses
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as well as
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 trains. The prime reason for using a
car
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 is to provide comfort during the journey , especially for long distances,which is impossible on
buses
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.
For instance
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,
last
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 month,I went from Punjab to Delhi in my
car
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 and I completed my way
according to
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 my comfort without any rules or regulations.
Moreover
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,safety concerns can
also
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 be considered as another good factor for selecting private
vehicles
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 by the
people
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.
For example
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, I read yesterday's newspaper and was shocked after reading that one person , who has a mental disorder , attacked another person.
Hence
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,it is risky to go anywhere with busses.
Nevertheless
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,
although
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,
people
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 nowadays, promote a self-driving experience ,it can not be affordable for all communities.
Therefore
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,the
government
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 ought to make some rules for the
people
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.So ,most folks
use
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 public
vehicles
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.
For example
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,In Punjab,
Government
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buses
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 are free for all women,which is a good step for the central
government
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 to promote public transportation as using more private
vehicles
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 in any area, leads to pollution.
Moreover
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,the
government
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 should take only fifty per cent of bus fare from daily employees.
Hence
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,the public uses it regularly for travelling,which not only boosts the economic level of the country but
also
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 reduces the
use
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 of cars.
To conclude
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,
people
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 ought to prefer a
car
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 for longer distances for their convenience and safety,but they should try to
use
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buses
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 for shorter distances.
Therefore
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,some environmental issues can be mitigated by declining the
use
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 of private cars.
Submitted by kamalkaur.er on

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style
To improve clarity, ensure all ideas are expressed in complete, grammatically correct sentences. Also, consider refining your word choice to eliminate any ambiguity or awkward phrasing.
cohesion
Provide more structured and varied transitions between paragraphs to enhance the essay’s overall flow. This helps readers follow your argument more easily.
development
Consider elaborating on your points slightly more to provide a richer and fuller development of ideas.
content
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and the essay’s purpose.
support
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which enhances the strength of your argument.
summary
Conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a logical closure to the essay.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • private cars
  • public transport
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • comfort
  • privacy
  • time-saving
  • reliable
  • efficient
  • traffic congestion
  • parking space
  • safety
  • security
  • affordability
  • cost-effectiveness
  • awareness
  • information
  • incentives
  • initiatives
  • government
  • improvement
  • infrastructure
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