IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justifed while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own know/edge or experience. Write at least 250, words.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions #edge
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every profession is different from each other in terms of their salaries and benefits. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe it is fair that successful
sports
Use synonyms
 players can earn more
money
Use synonyms
 than
people
Use synonyms
 in other important
fields
Use synonyms
 and some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is not fair. In my opinion, I think it is totally equitable because every field has its advantages and disadvantages.
People
Use synonyms
 that are considered successful in their specific
sports
Use synonyms
 get more recognition around the world and because of their influence, huge brands pay them a large amount of
money
Use synonyms
 for their products advertisement.
Moreover
Linking Words
, successful athletes often make contacts with clubs and sometimes clubs offer millions of dollars to make a contract. So, they have a
lot
Use synonyms
 of net worth. Sometimes exceeding over 1 billion dollars.
For instance
Linking Words
, Al Nasr is a Saudi Arabia football club that signed Cristiano Ronaldo for 200 million dollars. Probing ahead,
people
Use synonyms
 in other important
fields
Use synonyms
 do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of hard work but they do not get that huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 because they have limited salaries and they do not have any sponsorships. They have to manage their expenses with their limited salaries.
Professionals
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as doctors have to study a
lot
Use synonyms
 for approximately 7 years of their lives and
sports
Use synonyms
professionals
Use synonyms
 spend their time nourishing their skills as every field is different from another so it is totally acceptable because
sports
Use synonyms
professionals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have to do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of work and perform well in
fields
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is totally fair that athletes earn more
money
Use synonyms
 than
professionals
Use synonyms
 in other
fields
Use synonyms
 because they are more likely to be highly paid and get scholarships but they
also
Linking Words
 have to do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of hard work to become successful and to maintain their consistency.
Submitted by farisfaisal458 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: