Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Obesity

is one of the causes of preventable death, especially in industrialized countries. To tackle

this

problem, governments can reduce the impact of their overweight citizens by careful use of taxation to fund alternatives to

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle.

However

, individuals should

also

take responsibility for their own health by avoiding a bad diet and taking the initiative to participate in

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

. It is important for governments to act quickly to curb

obesity

because of the rising death rate. There will

also

be rising costs in healthcare and the benefits system if it is left unchecked. To combat

this

problem, governments should, first of all, heavily tax junk food and use the revenue generated to subsidize healthy fruit and vegetables.

This

would make healthy food cheaper and more widely available than unhealthier options.

Also

, the government can act by funding leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, sports clubs and gyms.

This

money could be used to help people gain motivation to exercise and become more active.

On the other hand

, there are those who claim that

obesity

due to

lifestyle

choice

Fix the agreement mistake

choices

show examples

and

therefore

an individual problem, not one for the government. They claim that people should find their own motivation to prevent

obesity

by being aware of the potentially fatal consequences of their lifestyles. Individuals could

also

change their diets by switching from

carbohydrate-heavy

Correct article usage

a carbohydrate-heavy

show examples

diet to one which includes a balance of vitamins and minerals. Joining a

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club need not always be the only way to lose weight. Even vigorous housework or heavy gardening can help avert heart disease. In conclusion,

although

individuals may be able to help themselves by changing their diets and activities, it may require government intervention to tackle

obesity

quickly and on a large scale.

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

epidemic
balanced diet
nutritional labeling
public recreational spaces
community sports programs
food advertising regulations
medical professionals
workplace wellness programs
mental health support
sugary drinks tax
consumer choices
affordable and accessible
health organizations

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Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it isnecessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?