Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Obesity

is one of the causes of preventable death, especially in industrialized countries. To tackle

this

problem, governments can reduce the impact of their overweight citizens by careful use of taxation to fund alternatives to

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle.

However

, individuals should

also

take responsibility for their own health by avoiding a bad diet and taking the initiative to participate in

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

. It is important for governments to act quickly to curb

obesity

because of the rising death rate. There will

also

be rising costs in healthcare and the benefits system if it is left unchecked. To combat

this

problem, governments should, first of all, heavily tax junk food and use the revenue generated to subsidize healthy fruit and vegetables.

This

would make healthy food cheaper and more widely available than unhealthier options.

Also

, the government can act by funding leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, sports clubs and gyms.

This

money could be used to help people gain motivation to exercise and become more active.

On the other hand

, there are those who claim that

obesity

due to

lifestyle

choice

Fix the agreement mistake

choices

show examples

and

therefore

an individual problem, not one for the government. They claim that people should find their own motivation to prevent

obesity

by being aware of the potentially fatal consequences of their lifestyles. Individuals could

also

change their diets by switching from

carbohydrate-heavy

Correct article usage

a carbohydrate-heavy

show examples

diet to one which includes a balance of vitamins and minerals. Joining a

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club need not always be the only way to lose weight. Even vigorous housework or heavy gardening can help avert heart disease. In conclusion,

although

individuals may be able to help themselves by changing their diets and activities, it may require government intervention to tackle

obesity

quickly and on a large scale.

Submitted by maliqulov289 on Sat Aug 05 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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Each year, the crime rate increase. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity.

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of species come under threat .What can be done to maintain biodiversity?