IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many counties nowadays are suffering from health decline what are the causes and the solutions

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Although
Linking Words
, of the civilizations, there are some countries suffering from the deteriorations in
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 among their citizens. The
reasonces
Correct your spelling
reasons
 are , lack of
awareness
Use synonyms
 of
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to, an increase in the prices of healthy food, and
gym
Use synonyms
 fees. To tackle it we should spread
awareness
Use synonyms
 among
people
Use synonyms
, and they must return back to doing traditional exercises.
However
Linking Words
, health is crucial to human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in some countries are struggling with it .The primary reason is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
,s
awareness
Use synonyms
 .many
people
Use synonyms
 in developing nations love being fat as they believe that it reflects their wealth.
In addition
Linking Words
, those numbers in the society can't
purashaces
Correct your spelling
purchases
portien
Correct your spelling
portion
 or go to the
gym
Use synonyms
 because of their
povertines
Correct your spelling
overtones
poverties
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the average wages in Egypt are 3000lE and the
fees
Fix the agreement mistake
fee
show examples
 for the
gym
Use synonyms
 is 300lE which is very expensive To tackle those situations, the government should pay attention to increasing
awareness
Use synonyms
 in
ubarn
Correct your spelling
urban
barn
 regions about
ahealthy
Correct your spelling
a healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 and encouraging them.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
 Women and men have to do
exercising
Wrong verb form
exercise
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as running,
cycling
Correct word choice
and cycling
show examples
 , even though walking
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
 hour once a day .
therefore
Linking Words
 , their health will be improved and they will have a more enjoyable life than before. In concussion, some
people
Use synonyms
 in developing countries are suffering from gaining weight and under-controlled weight gains, because of the poverty in their counties, and their mind site .To address those problems, States ought to make institutions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and intuitive talks to shift the mind sites for their
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
habitats of the town .
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can substitute the
gym
Use synonyms
 by, cycling, racing, and increasing their steps per day.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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