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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Swedan, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Swedan, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
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The graph illustrates the five countries' populations in emissions of
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide between 1967 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
carbon
Use synonyms
 footprints come from the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the UK has the most soot emissions,
as well as
Linking Words
, Italy has an increased fluctuation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the UK has 11 metric tonnes of co2 released into the atmosphere and it has a plummeting variation during the era.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Sweden is the second country to release co2 into the air in 1967.
In addition
Linking Words
, Sweden had a fall during the period and it is the nation which emits
carbon
Use synonyms
 footprints lower in 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Italy had a rise in variation in emitting co2 in the atmosphere.
However
Linking Words
, it had a gradual increase during the period,
as well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it reached a peak during 2007.
Along with
Linking Words
 it, Portugal
also
Linking Words
 had a rise in variation in emitting co2 footprints in the environment.
However
Linking Words
, it begins with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2 per cent of the emission of
carbon
Use synonyms
 into the sky.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it gradually rise and reached a peak in 2007.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, however, moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, co with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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