IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women
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Over the past 50 years, there has been a significant increase in the number of
women
Use synonyms
 entering the workforce.
However
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, high-level
positions
Use synonyms
 in
companies
Use synonyms
 are still predominantly occupied by men. To address
this
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 issue, some people argue that
companies
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 should allocate a certain percentage of these
positions
Use synonyms
 to
women
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I strongly agree that
this
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 solution is effective. Historically, society has been male-dominated, and
this
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 imbalance continues today. Reserving equal opportunities for
women
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 in managerial roles is crucial to ensuring gender equality in the workplace. Both men and
women
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 bring unique qualities to these
positions
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.
For example
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,
while
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 men may excel in decision-making under pressure,
women
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 are often more creative and innovative in problem-solving—an essential trait for any manager.
Additionally
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, the inclusion of
women
Use synonyms
 in leadership roles introduces a valuable feminine perspective, which can significantly benefit
companies
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.
For instance
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, the CEO of Canva, a highly successful company, utilized her creativity to simplify the design process, making it accessible to millions.
This
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 demonstrates how
women
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 in leadership
positions
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 can bring fresh ideas and approaches to the business world. In conclusion,
women
Use synonyms
 should be given equal opportunities to hold high-level
positions
Use synonyms
. Their unique traits,
such
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 as creativity and wise decision-making, contribute greatly to the success of
companies
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. Allocating a certain percentage of these roles to
women
Use synonyms
 is an effective step toward achieving gender equality and enhancing organizational performance.
Submitted by joudfadi2000 on

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task achievement
Try to explore multiple perspectives on the issue, both agreeing and disagreeing, to show a thorough understanding of the topic. This can enrich your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using linking words or phrases to guide the reader more effectively.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the issue, expressing a strong agreement with the solution proposed (allocating positions to women), which addresses the task well.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively framing the essay with a clear position and summary of arguments.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the CEO of Canva, effectively illustrate the positive impact of women in leadership roles.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender disparity
  • glass ceiling
  • workforce representation
  • gender diversity
  • equal opportunity
  • professional advancement
  • social equality
  • gender equality
  • empowerment
  • barrier
  • discrimination
  • inequality
  • bias
  • reinforce
  • inclusive
  • combat
  • strive for
  • promote
  • nurture
  • enhance
  • progressive
  • implement
  • quota system
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