Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many people debate whether
children
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spending their free
time
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watching
TV
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brings more benefits than drawbacks. In my opinion, excessive
TV
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watching has a more negative impact on
children
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, as it can affect their health, social skills, and
overall
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development. On the one hand,
television
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provides knowledge to
children
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in an entertaining way. They can learn about culture, music, history, the environment, and many other topics
while
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enjoying themselves.
Additionally
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, watching
TV
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can help
children
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become more articulate in their speech, as they are constantly exposed to spoken language. It can
also
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aid in acquiring a new language.
For example
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, my younger brother was able to understand English at the age of four simply by watching cartoon shows.
Furthermore
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,
television
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serves as a source of entertainment, allowing
children
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to relax and unwind after a long day.
On the other hand
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, excessive
TV
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consumption can lead to various physical and mental health issues in
children
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.
For instance
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, many develop poor eyesight from prolonged screen exposure.
Additionally
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, some
children
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exhibit severe mood swings and anger issues when their
TV
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time
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is interrupted.
Moreover
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, watching too much
television
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can hinder their social development, as they may spend most of their free
time
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alone
instead
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of interacting with peers and developing essential social skills. To illustrate, a recent study found that 40% of toddlers who frequently use
TV
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and technological devices,
such
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as iPads, are more likely to develop social anxiety as they grow up. In conclusion,
while
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television
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can be an educational and entertaining tool for
children
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, its negative effects outweigh the benefits. Excessive screen
time
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can harm their health, disrupt emotional stability, and hinder social development in the long run.
Therefore
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, it is crucial for parents to regulate
children
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's
TV
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consumption to ensure a balanced and healthy lifestyle.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider enhancing the organization of ideas within paragraphs. For example, you may use clear topic sentences to introduce main points more explicitly for better flow.
task achievement
When mentioning specific studies or examples, citing sources or providing more detail could strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
Each paragraph clearly presents a distinct point related to the overall argument, effectively supporting the thesis.
task achievement
Your use of personal experience, such as mentioning your younger brother, adds relatability and engages the reader.
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