Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many people debate whether

children

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spending their free

time

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watching

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brings more benefits than drawbacks. In my opinion, excessive

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watching has a more negative impact on

children

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, as it can affect their health, social skills, and

overall

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development. On the one hand,

television

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provides knowledge to

children

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in an entertaining way. They can learn about culture, music, history, the environment, and many other topics

while

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enjoying themselves.

Additionally

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, watching

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can help

children

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become more articulate in their speech, as they are constantly exposed to spoken language. It can

also

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aid in acquiring a new language.

For example

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, my younger brother was able to understand English at the age of four simply by watching cartoon shows.

Furthermore

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television

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serves as a source of entertainment, allowing

children

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to relax and unwind after a long day.

On the other hand

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, excessive

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consumption can lead to various physical and mental health issues in

children

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For instance

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, many develop poor eyesight from prolonged screen exposure.

Additionally

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, some

children

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exhibit severe mood swings and anger issues when their

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time

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is interrupted.

Moreover

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, watching too much

television

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can hinder their social development, as they may spend most of their free

time

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alone

instead

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of interacting with peers and developing essential social skills. To illustrate, a recent study found that 40% of toddlers who frequently use

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and technological devices,

such

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as iPads, are more likely to develop social anxiety as they grow up. In conclusion,

while

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television

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can be an educational and entertaining tool for

children

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, its negative effects outweigh the benefits. Excessive screen

time

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can harm their health, disrupt emotional stability, and hinder social development in the long run.

Therefore

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, it is crucial for parents to regulate

children

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consumption to ensure a balanced and healthy lifestyle.

hailahfozanMon Feb 17 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider enhancing the organization of ideas within paragraphs. For example, you may use clear topic sentences to introduce main points more explicitly for better flow.

task achievement

When mentioning specific studies or examples, citing sources or providing more detail could strengthen your argument further.

task achievement

Each paragraph clearly presents a distinct point related to the overall argument, effectively supporting the thesis.

task achievement

Your use of personal experience, such as mentioning your younger brother, adds relatability and engages the reader.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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