IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in the sea. What are the reason and solution?

#species #activities #land #sea #reason
Due to
 the development of technologies, people utilize more resources on both ground and
water
. In connection with
this
, the extinction of
animals
 is a pressing concern in the present world.
This
 essay will examine the reasons for
this
 phenomenon and what can be done for saving
animals
. Indubitably, there are several figures why several
animals
 are rarely seen in modern days. Foremost, since the human population has increased dramatically, nations require to construct new areas to dwell
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 To be more detailed, most forests and grounds have deforestation and creatures which live in there would lose their habitat.
Furthermore
, the frequent use of items which are made of fossil fuels brings detrimental effects on our
water
 systems. It is because since they are non-biodegradable, they cannot fully decompose in
water
 treatment systems and it spells into oceans and rivers. Precisely, fishes and other creatures get pain from eating plastics or their environments have been polluted.
Therefore
, all nations have to prepare several rules to preserve our ecosystems. Primarily, associations related to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 have to make strict laws to maintain our green fields for
animals
.
In addition
, people have to develop new lifestyles which can reside with nature together.
Moreover
, architects have to invent new types of buildings which can accommodate lots of residents.
Additionally
, scientists must research novel methods to remove chemical items which can apply in
water
 treatment systems. In a nutshell,
although
 it seems to us that using chemical products and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 rid of forests and ground are the main reasons for
this
 issue, it can be solved through preparing numerous procedures and our efforts.
Submitted by kigj95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: