IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Universites should accept eual numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#universites #numbers #students
Many colleges will think about how many female and male
students
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 each
subiects
Correct your spelling
subjects
show examples
. Sometimes, the headmaster will decide to accept more
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 in science than
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
.
Otherwise
, they prefer to allow
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
engage
Fix the infinitive
to engage
show examples
 in liberal arts. Indeed, most male
students
 are good at math physics or other science
subiects
Correct your spelling
subjects
show examples
 and female
students
 are keen on Chinese, English or other liberal arts.
This
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 girls
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 good at languages, they can describe
Correct pronoun usage
their knowleges
show examples
knowleges
Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledges
 very well.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the majority of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
,
Add an article
a woman
the woman
show examples
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
 will explain the information
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 presentations, but they do not willing to collect
datas
Correct your spelling
data
even
Correct word choice
or even
show examples
 calculate them. So
this
 work
usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
show examples
 finished by man.
In addition
, boys prefer to research something and
then
 make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 experiment to gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
statistics. Meanwhile, someone who
interested
Add a missing verb
is interested
show examples
 in computers,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will explore many
datas
Correct your spelling
data
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their essay. Even they can fix the computers or other devices as soon as possible.
However
, universities
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
 unequal numbers of different gender
students
 is not a desirable way to enlarge the advantages of learning. In fact, if colleges
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a recognize of gender equality, they will get more benefits. At
first,
girls and boys can study together in science subject or liberal arts.
As a result
, female
students
 can
summary
Replace the word
summarise
show examples
 the outcomes in the final time. During the process, male
students
 can collect
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 or do the research.
Thus
, the efficiency of
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
 will rise.
Next,
if they can learn
this
 subject together, maybe they will create more
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 in
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 field in the near future.
Students
 can receive many achievements and they will feel very satisfied
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 themselves. It is noticeable that when they gain many successful results, the status of
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 will up. At that time, many
students
 will be absorbed and
then
 come here to have a studying. In sum, colleges need to balance the
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 number in boys and girls in several subjects rather than unequal.
Submitted by ysh424 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: