IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge. or experience.

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Changes are always good in life because it helps to grow financially and mentally. Some
people
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 choose to spend their
lives
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 without any changes.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that
change
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 is always a positive thing. In my opinion,
change
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 is always
positive
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apply
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a positive thing because it helps
people
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 to grow both, financially and mentally but often
change
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 can cause problems.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 are afraid of taking risks in their
lives
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 because they are not prepared for the consequences. Sometimes, they fear because they hear stories about failures through different sources but
change
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 is mainly dependent on two things, strategy and luck. Luck is the most important factor but
strategy
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the strategy
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also
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 plays a vital role because some
people
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 spend a large sum of their savings on something of which they do not have any knowledge and eventually it leads to failure.
For instance
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, some
people
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 spend their whole life income in stocks but they do not have any knowledge about how to invest in stocks and it leads to poverty. Probing ahead, and gaining a lot of knowledge and understanding about that particular
change
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 can help
people
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 to become financially independent.
Moreover
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, it will open more opportunities for
people
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 in both, their business and careers but if it
risk
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risks
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causes
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failure they should learn from their mistakes.
Change
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 often revives the hope for
people
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 to improve their
lives
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.
For example
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, many students from Pakistan, are moving abroad for their
further
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 studies. It is a risk and a major
change
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 in their
lives
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 but it will result in success in their careers.
To conclude
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,
change
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 is always a good thing but some
people
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 are afraid because of the lack of information and slow progress. Changes can make a huge difference in
people
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's
lives
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 by making them financially stable.

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task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task with relevant and specific examples to support the points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, making it difficult to follow the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion lack clear focus and coherence with the main body of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay lacks a variety of appropriately used vocabulary and idiomatically appropriate language.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors and inaccuracies in both simple and complex structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • mastery
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • hesitancy
  • risk-taking
  • transitions
  • enrichment
  • equilibrium
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