Nowadays, more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be reason for this what would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs #reason

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In recent times, increasingly senior individuals compete with

youth

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young

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people

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for the same jobs. In my opinion, there are several reasons for

this

Linking Words

trend namely,

poor

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the poor

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economy

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economic

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progress of

country

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the country

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, and

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policy

Correct article usage

the policy

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Change preposition

show examples

retirement

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however

Linking Words

, I would like to recommend some

measure

Fix the agreement mistake

measures

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to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue namely, governments could invest more money to create more job opportunities, and

redcue

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reduce

the

age

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retirement

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. On the one hand, the primary reason for

compete

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competing with

show examples

elderly

people

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with young

people

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is poor poor

economy

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economic

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progress of

country

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the country

a country

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For example

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, developing countries struggle financially, which

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

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the number of job opportunities for local

people

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limit

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limited

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Therefore

Linking Words

, older

people

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will compete with young

people

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Retirement

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policy

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is another reason why

aging

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ageing

show examples

people

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compete with younger

people

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This

Linking Words

is because some countries allow elderly

people

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to work without

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age

Correct article usage

an age

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limit, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can increase competition among

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

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and young

people

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I would like to suggest some solutions to address

this

Linking Words

issue. The first effective

meausre

Correct your spelling

means

the government could invest more money on many projects namely, education, healthcare, and power plant stations.

As a result

Linking Words

, these projects will create thousands of jobs for both

people

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, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

mtigate

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mitigate

competition among senior and young

people

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. The second efficient solution the government could introduce

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policy

Correct article usage

a policy

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regarding

retirement

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age

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For example

Linking Words

, the government could reduce the

retirement

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age

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from 65 to 60 years , which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can alleviate competition among youth and senior

people

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To sum up

Linking Words

, I believe there are different causes for

this

Linking Words

trend namely, poor

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

progress of

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

, and

Use synonyms

policy

Correct article usage

the policy

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

retirement

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, I suggested some actions to deal with

this

Linking Words

issue namely, authorities could invest more money to create more job opportunities, and minimize the

age

Use synonyms

retirement

Use synonyms

Submitted by faiz3177 on Sun Aug 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay to make it more organized and coherent. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic and supporting details that relate to the main point.

task achievement

To improve your task achievement score, make sure to fully address all parts of the task, present clear and well-developed ideas, and support them with relevant examples and details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Nowadays, more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be reason for this what would you suggest as a solution?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsible of individuals to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

with the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more recources. to what extend do you agree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?