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Writing Samples
Band 6

İt is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Despite most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 afraid of taking risks, some
people
Use synonyms
 consider that taking a
risk
Use synonyms
 is undoubtedly one of the best ways in order to be successful in both
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
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 and personal lives. İ am of the opinion that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 of taking a
risk
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 outdo its
dimerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
merits
.
To begin
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, in my opinion, there are a lot of advantages of
this
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,
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apply
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 because
people
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 realise their wishes by taking a
risk
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 in their lives.
For example
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, Mark Zuckerberg who is
creator
Add an article
the creator
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 of Facebook can be
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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 of it. When he was a student at the university, he discarded to study and made a decision to establish Facebook and thereby he was able to be one of the young richest
people
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 in the world.
Furthermore
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, I think that if someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to obtain rewards
such
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 as promotion or extra earnings and so on, they always have to be ready to take a
risk
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 and do their utmost. İn addition to these, there are
innumerous
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numerous
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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member of the workforce or other society members who are reluctant to venture, because they suppose that their lives collapse. There is even an aphorism related to it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
said by Azerbaijani poet Shams Tabrizi:" if you
are worry
Change the verb form
are worried
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 about your life and think that
my
Correct pronoun usage
your
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live
Replace the word
life
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 would be upside down do not worry. How do you know down is not better than upside?”.
Therefore
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i
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I
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 believe that everyone more often than not to take a
risk
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 and catch a chance so as to improve their life standards.
Besides
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,
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researches
 which were investigated by experts have proved that if
employee
Correct article usage
an employee
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 or someone did not take a
risk
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 at the right moment, they would regret and live with
this
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 feeling in the future. İn conclusion,
due to
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I
Correct pronoun usage
what I
show examples
have counted reasons, I consider that everyone has to take a
risk
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 and its plus points are much more than its minus points.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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