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Band 6

İt is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#i̇t #people #risks #lives
Despite most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 afraid of taking risks, some
people
 consider that taking a
risk
 is undoubtedly one of the best ways in order to be successful in both
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
show examples
 and personal lives. İ am of the opinion that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
 of taking a
risk
 outdo its
dimerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
merits
.
To begin
, in my opinion, there are a lot of advantages of
this
,
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apply
show examples
 because
people
 realise their wishes by taking a
risk
 in their lives.
For example
, Mark Zuckerberg who is
creator
Add an article
the creator
show examples
 of Facebook can be
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
 of it. When he was a student at the university, he discarded to study and made a decision to establish Facebook and thereby he was able to be one of the young richest
people
 in the world.
Furthermore
, I think that if someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to obtain rewards
such
 as promotion or extra earnings and so on, they always have to be ready to take a
risk
 and do their utmost. İn addition to these, there are
innumerous
Replace the word
numerous
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
member of the workforce or other society members who are reluctant to venture, because they suppose that their lives collapse. There is even an aphorism related to it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
said by Azerbaijani poet Shams Tabrizi:" if you
are worry
Change the verb form
are worried
show examples
 about your life and think that
my
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 would be upside down do not worry. How do you know down is not better than upside?”.
Therefore
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that everyone more often than not to take a
risk
 and catch a chance so as to improve their life standards.
Besides
,
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researches
 which were investigated by experts have proved that if
employee
Correct article usage
an employee
show examples
 or someone did not take a
risk
 at the right moment, they would regret and live with
this
 feeling in the future. İn conclusion,
due to
I
Correct pronoun usage
what I
show examples
have counted reasons, I consider that everyone has to take a
risk
 and its plus points are much more than its minus points.
Submitted by ismayilovemin530 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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