ldentify the scope of human augmentation and human enhancement anoevaluate the significance of drawbacks and limitations to its uses. Refer toresearch findings and examples as support.

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Drawbacks induced by human
augmentation
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or human enhancement are significant to
people’s
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personal information, living skills and body
health
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.
Firstly
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, two common disadvantages of HA and HE which are
privacy
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infringement and over-reliance will be discussed. Since HA is included in HE, applications of HA will be provided to argue these points. In terms of
privacy
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violations, users’
privacy
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could be invaded by data collection and intrusive surveillance.
According to
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Raisamo et al. (2019) research, since major organizations frequently create fresh human
augmentation
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technology, numerous users’ data are collected and made profits by these organizations, which creates moral problems in human
augmentation
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.
Although
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Viseu
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(2003) claims that some HA technologies could monitor
people’s
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biometrical information to maintain their
health
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,
this
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might be an illegal action to monitor and collect other
people’s
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information (Davies et al., 2015). Invasion of
privacy
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could not only cause illegal acts
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
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possibly harms
people’s
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physical and psychological
health
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because of monitoring. Being constantly monitoring might weak
people’s
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sense of autonomy severely (Macnish, 2022, cited by Furendal and Jebari, 2023). Bankins and Formosa (2023) illustrate an example that Amazon provides their workers in warehouses with handheld barcode scanners to improve their productivity in dealing with orders, but their behaviours are monitored by scanners which
stresses
Change the verb form
stress

The singular verb stresses does not appear to agree with the plural subject scanners. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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out them and
hurts
Change the verb form
hurt

The singular verb hurts does not appear to agree with the plural subject scanners. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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their bodies (cited by Furendal and Jebari, 2023).
Secondly
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, people might
over rely
Add a hyphen
over-rely

It seems that over rely is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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on these technologies
due to
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excessive interaction. Some people claim that human
augmentation
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is supposed to be applied wider because of the convenience for their lives (
Viseu
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, 2003).
Nevertheless
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, an example suggests that if doctors rely on
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to diagnose patients’ illnesses, it might be impossible for them to complete a diagnosis when the computer cannot work (
Viseu
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, 2003). A similar justification was claimed by Mumford (1972) that
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men

It seems that man may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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have started losing
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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legs
as a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of being overly dependent on cars (cited by
Viseu
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, 2003). Apart from these common problems,
application
Correct article usage
the application

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of human enhancement has an extra drawback on
human
Correct article usage
the human

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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sense. Raisamo et. al. (2019) argue that neurotechnological implants and chemical stimulants could harm users’
sense
Fix the agreement mistake
senses

It seems that sense may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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due to
Linking Words

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side effects.
Although
Linking Words

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wearable computers have been created, which could monitor users’ mental and physical conditions
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the application of biological sensors,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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first commercial version has not been announced yet (
Viseu
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, 2003).
As a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, applications of HA and HE might not only harm
people’s
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health
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and break the law by invasion of
privacy
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, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could be addictive for users, which incapacitate
people’s
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working and living skills, and some side effects of HE could not be ignored.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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