IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter •Explain what type of car you would like •Give details of when you would like the car •Request more information about the cost

#rent #car #holiday #agency #•explain #type #•give #•request #information #cost
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Dear Mr Adam, I am writing to apologize for not being able to the
interview
Use synonyms
 as arranged by your staff. Unfortunately, I had a traffic accident two days ago and have been in the hospital for treatment. The doctor informed me that I had to be here for 10 days.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I would like to ask whether there is any possibility of rescheduling the
interview
Use synonyms
 to another day. May I change the
interview
Use synonyms
 date to 20 December? I hope the company understands
this
Linking Words
 incident. I am very interested in
this
Linking Words
 job because the job is suitable for me. I prepare everything very well for
this
Linking Words
 important
interview
Use synonyms
 and I hope to be able to do it. I believe that my skills, experience, motivation and relationships can help me to contribute a lot to the company’s development. Once again, I hope the company will consider my case. Thank you in advance for your assistance with
this
Linking Words
 matter. Yours faithfully, Chi Thiên.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
Ensure you address all points required by the prompt; the letter given does not address the request for information regarding a car rental but rather discusses rescheduling an interview.
task achievement
Maintain a suitable formal tone throughout the letter, which you have done well, but ensure that the content of the letter matches the task provided.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should contain a central idea and subsequent sentences that expand on that idea in a coherent manner. The fourth paragraph could be broken down into more focused ideas relating to your suitability for the job and your relationship to the company.
coherence cohesion
Transition smoothly between ideas using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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