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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disavantages?

#students #gap #year #school #university #work #travel #outweight #disavantages
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It is hard to overstate the importance of schooling: It decides what kind of person we become, what kind of career we will have, and ultimately what kind of life we will lead.
Therefore
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, what should and should not be taught at
school
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 is necessarily a perennial debate. Some assert that schools should focus on disciplines,
while
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 others state that courses like
sports
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 and
music
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 should
also
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 be included in the curriculum. Both viewpoints are justifiable but I personally lean toward the latter. On the one hand, academic
subjects
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 are indeed very important. It could be said that the foremost objective of people who attend
school
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 is to have a financially viable career they finish. To
this
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 end, the bulk of the curriculum should be dedicated to core
subjects
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 like maths, science, and language, whose performance is placed heavy emphasis by higher education institutions and employers alike.
On the other hand
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,
subjects
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 like
sports
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 and
music
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 cannot be discounted altogether.
While
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 they may not be directly helpful in securing employment, they indirectly make a candidate more employable. Today firms are increasingly looking beyond the technical expertise and qualifications of applicants and attach greater importance to attributes like adaptability, creativity, and collaborative skills. These qualities are arguably better cultivated in experiences like playing
music
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 or completing team
sports
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 than in academic lessons. Another compelling reason why non-academic
subjects
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 should be taught at
school
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 is that it allows young talents in athletic and artistic fields to be discovered. Without the opportunity to participate in these activities at the elementary or secondary level, musically inclined individuals or those who are endowed with an aptitude for
sports
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 will be denied the chance to achieve their full potential. In conclusion, academic
subjects
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 should no doubt be given precedence in
school
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, but it is
also
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 important that students be taught other
subjects
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 like
music
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 or
sports
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.
Submitted by hoangthoakinhte on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides an outline of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas and create a more cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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