Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disavantages?

It is hard to overstate the importance of schooling: It decides what kind of person we become, what kind of career we will have, and ultimately what kind of life we will lead.
Therefore
, what should and should not be taught at
school
is necessarily a perennial debate. Some assert that schools should focus on disciplines,
while
others state that courses like
sports
and
music
should
also
be included in the curriculum. Both viewpoints are justifiable but I personally lean toward the latter. On the one hand, academic
subjects
are indeed very important. It could be said that the foremost objective of people who attend
school
is to have a financially viable career they finish. To
this
end, the bulk of the curriculum should be dedicated to core
subjects
like maths, science, and language, whose performance is placed heavy emphasis by higher education institutions and employers alike.
On the other hand
,
subjects
like
sports
and
music
cannot be discounted altogether.
While
they may not be directly helpful in securing employment, they indirectly make a candidate more employable. Today firms are increasingly looking beyond the technical expertise and qualifications of applicants and attach greater importance to attributes like adaptability, creativity, and collaborative skills. These qualities are arguably better cultivated in experiences like playing
music
or completing team
sports
than in academic lessons. Another compelling reason why non-academic
subjects
should be taught at
school
is that it allows young talents in athletic and artistic fields to be discovered. Without the opportunity to participate in these activities at the elementary or secondary level, musically inclined individuals or those who are endowed with an aptitude for
sports
will be denied the chance to achieve their full potential. In conclusion, academic
subjects
should no doubt be given precedence in
school
, but it is
also
important that students be taught other
subjects
like
music
or
sports
.
Submitted by hoangthoakinhte on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides an outline of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas and create a more cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: