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Band 4.5

Even when rich countries help poor countries economically, there are still issues related to hunger and diseases. What are the causes and solutions to these issues?

#countries #hunger #diseases
There is a huge contrast in the availability of basic living necessities
such
 as food, clothing and shelter across the world. Even though some efforts are being made by richer
countries
 to bridge it,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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these deficiencies are leading to poor living
conditions
 and a plethora of diseases.
Firstly
, the monetary support and medical help provided by the benevolent
countries
 cannot inundate the deficit. Many
countries
 have been trapped
into
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in
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 a vicious cycle of corrupt leaders who are so self-absorbed that they cannot envision how to improve the day-to-day
conditions
 of their people.
Similarly
, we have seen
such
 leaders leading their nations into wars, in spite of their weak economic positions and without fully understanding the consequences. A Plethora of
such
 examples can be seen in the past, consider it the war-torn Afghanistan or Syria or the communist Soviet Union. Evidently, driving a country out of poverty is a difficult challenge which can take decades to achieve.
Nevertheless
,
by
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apply
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focussing
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focusing
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 on improving economic
conditions
 or
by
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apply
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taking a
neautral
Correct your spelling
neutral
 stance to avoid conflicts is a step forward. If efforts are made to focus on the services or things a country can offer, improvements in economic
conditions
 will follow.
For instance
, China started
manfucaturing
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
 goods and
electornics
Correct your spelling
electronics
 at cheaper rates based on the minerals they had. Parallely, India focussed on IT services and
digitalisations
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digitalisation
digitalization
 based on the human skillsets they had. Today both China and India have drastically improved their economic and global stand.
Thus
, with a focus on the areas a country's populace or environment is good at and not being
neglegent
Correct your spelling
negligent
 about the
countries
 living
conditions
, we can
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 start an attempt in narrowing the gap in health and hunger around the globe.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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