IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have seen an advert in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six years old child Write a letter to the parents, in your letter Explain why you would like to take the job Give details of why you would be suitable to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

Dear Sir My name is Elisha Emmanuel, I write with respect to your advert in the Daily Time Magazine of 15 May 2023 for the position of a live-in caregiver for a period of six months. I humbly request to be considered for
this
Linking Words
 job as I believe I possess the qualities needed.
Firstly
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, I have always had a passion for caring for younger ones as it gives me a unique satisfaction,
also
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, I have been longing to visit Australia for a
while
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 now, but I have not had the opportunity to do so since my visit with my parents a decade ago. I am a 27 years old, male, who speaks English fluently, a very calm and cheerful person. I have been opportune to work with Little Angel Nursery and Primary School for about five years where I was privileged to nurture and care for children between the ages of four to ten years old, an experience I believe equips me to serve your purpose.
furthermore
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, I intend to use my free time to explore the rich wildlife heritage of the country. I look forward in anticipation of positive feedback and thank you for taking out time to review my application. Yours Faithfully Elisha Emmanuel

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into paragraphs and focus on one main idea per paragraph.
task achievement
Try to use a more formal tone in your writing, especially in addressing the parents.
task achievement
You clearly stated your interest in the job and provided a personal reason for applying.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is friendly and polite, which is essential in this type of writing.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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