IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that the responsability for providing education should be borne only by the government and that provite education should be canned. - What are the main advantages of banning private education? - Are there circumstances where private education should be allowed? - What is your opinion on the matter? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples, from your own knowledge or experience

#people #responsability #education #government #provite #circumstances #matter
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Nowadays,
education
is provide
Change the verb form
is provided
show examples
 by
provate
Correct your spelling
private
 and public
schools
, which causes inequality
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the knowledge that students acquire.
Due to
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
 many people say that
education
 is a state's
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 and
also
 that private
schools
 should be banned. I tend to agree
partialy
Correct your spelling
partially
partly
 with the idea of banning private
schools
. It is obvious that there would be many advantages if there were
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 private
schools
 and all
education
 was
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 by public resources. First of all, parents would not need to pay for their children to go to school.
Secondly
, the curriculum would be the same for all students of the country.
Consequently
, all of them would have the same knowledge and the same opportunities to succeed in their careers.
On the other hand
, private
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 could be allowed in specific conditions. Master
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
PHD
Correct your spelling
Ph.D.
degrees are normally enrolled by
adutls
Correct your spelling
adults
 who, generally, are financially
stablished
Correct your spelling
established
 and who can afford it.
Moreover
, adult people have more wisdom to praise
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
 when it is paid
,
Change preposition
for, in
show examples
in contrast
 with children and
teenages
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 to whom
education
 is paid
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
 their parents.
Furthermorer
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in many countries there are companies that pay
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 employee's studies. So, in those higher levels of
education
Add a comma
education,
show examples
 it could be allowed the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of private
schools
. Summing up, there are many advantages in
education
being provide
Change the verb form
being provided
show examples
 by the government.
Although
, in a few cases, private
schools
 could be allowed. I tend to agree with those who
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that
education
 should
be provide
Change the verb form
be provided
show examples
 by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and private
schools
 should be banned, but just until a specific level.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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