Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #face #development

Since developing industries, most

people

want to communicate online more than

face

. There are a few reasons for

this

: a comfortable system and

busy

Correct article usage

a busy

show examples

life. In my opinion,

this

is a positive development because

people

can live more effectively and easily with technology.

To begin

with, a crucial reason why

people

choose online for socializing is that online is more comfortable than meeting. When

people

meet

face

, they should spend a lot of

time

communicating.

This

is because they spend

time

adorning themselves and departing to the place.

Moreover

, they can do many things in a short

time

. Modern citizens

such

as students and workers live busy lives. In order to save

time

, they have to choose a

network

. It helps to save

people

’s

time

. To illustrate

this

, most students want to pick a tutor who teaches online because they want to make their own

time

to study other things.

Therefore

, because of a busy life and comfortable system,

people

want to socialize in a

network

. As there are many advantages that we can take from them, it is a helpful development. Humans can live their lives more usefully and easily with technology. They can enjoy movies in their house from OTT service;

foods

Correct word choice

and foods

show examples

that are delivered.

In addition

people

don’t have to go to the gym because they can exercise by playing games like Nintendo.

For example

, after the pandemic, many stores closed and

change

Wrong verb form

changed

show examples

their service type from offline to online because humans want to consume their products in a

network

store. Because of examples like

this

, humans can buy and enjoy many things in their place more comfortably. Given

this

, the situation that

people

prefer online more than offline is a positive circumstance. In conclusion, modern society wants

useful

Correct article usage

a useful

show examples

and restful life.

Therefore

, they choose

network

communication because of their own

time

Furthermore

, changing online society is a helpful situation since it makes an effective world. It will evolve technology and the future.

Submitted by haeunueah06 on Mon Aug 07 2023

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Task Response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Your examples should be relevant and help to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are adequately present, but the development of the essay could be enhanced by using more cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people think that Zoo's are all cruel and should be closed down. Others, however believe that zoo can be useful in protecting wild animals. discuss both views and give your opinion.

‘Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

*In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. *To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?