IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
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In the modern world, some
people
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 tend to believe that
imagination
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 and
language
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skills
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 are developed by book readers
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 watched media programs.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals claim that even though reading
books
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 can
be developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 those
skills
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,
TV
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 programs are
the other factors
Fix the agreement mistake
another factor
show examples
 to
help
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
people
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 improve their
skills
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 as well.
This
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 essay argues strongly in favour of the latter position, and my opinion will be discussed in the
further
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 paragraph with a suitable conclusion. On the one hand, it is certainly true that
books
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 can help
people
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 to improve their
imagination
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 and
language
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skills
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 on account of several reasons. A vital reason is that many
books
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 have wider useful knowledge, which some
people
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 have never known before and some
books
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also
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 display decent images that are beneficial for kids.
For instance
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,the night sleeping
books
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 always have images and these
books
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 educate the kids and they can have their own
imagination
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 and improve their
language
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 by reading these
books
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.
As a result
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, all ages can learn knowledge
skills
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 from
books
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
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, it cannot be denied that there are other major contributing factors to improving
imagination
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 and
language
Use synonyms
skills
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. One
such
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 factor is that
TV
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 programs are useful for improving
skills
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, as there are many things that
people
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 can learn apart from entertainment . To illustrate
this
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 point,
according to
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 a recent research study by Harvard University, approximately 80% of kids in the US are learning their
skills
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 from
TV
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 shows.
Consequently
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,
TV
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 shows are essential for improving those
skills
Use synonyms
 as well. Take into account all factors. I may reach the conclusion that the arguments against slightly outweigh the arguments for.
Therefore
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, I disagree that only book readers can learn more
imagination
Use synonyms
 and
language
Use synonyms
skills
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while
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TV
Use synonyms
 shows are essential for improving those
skills
Use synonyms
 as well.
Submitted by cat_dudick on

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Task Achievement
The essay does not fully address the prompt and lacks development of ideas. Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the prompt and provides sufficient support for the arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a strong logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are not fully developed. Work on organizing the essay with clear introduction and conclusion, and ensure that ideas are presented in a logical sequence.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates limited lexical resource and lacks variety in vocabulary usage. Expand the range of vocabulary and use more sophisticated language to enhance the essay's quality.
Grammatical Range
There are several grammatical errors in the essay that affect its clarity and coherence. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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