IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Few people devote time to hobbies these days. Why do you think this is the case, and what effect does this have on an individual and society in general?

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Nowadays, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer not to spend
time
Use synonyms
 on their hobbies. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 happens because
people
Use synonyms
 do not have enough free
time
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,
due to
Linking Words
 their
work
Use synonyms
 or studies. And
this
Linking Words
 kind of
lifestysle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 has a huge negative impact on
people
Use synonyms
's health, especially mental. First and foremost,
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
time
Use synonyms
 for any leisure
time
Use synonyms
 activities because of their busy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. In order to be successful
people
Use synonyms
 are used to
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 much more than necessary for them, and
this
Linking Words
 leads to less energy and
time
Use synonyms
 for free
time
Use synonyms
 activities.
Also
Linking Words
, I would like to mention that there are more
workoholic
Correct your spelling
workaholic
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays, too. So many
people
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 depend on their
work
Use synonyms
 emotionally, not only from the perception of money.
Due to
Linking Words
 these reasons, I think that it is impossible for
people
Use synonyms
 to devote
time
Use synonyms
 to hobbies. And as I mentioned before spending all day at
work
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 less social. And there is a huge possibility that more
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer from various kinds of mental diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as depression and other medical conditions.
Also
Linking Words
, they can feel
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
all the
time
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 exhausted. That's why I think that it will have a huge negative influence on their mental and physical health.
To sum up
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, I think that
people
Use synonyms
 should devote some
time
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 to their friends, families and hobbies. Because
otherwise
Linking Words
, their life can be dull and,
this
Linking Words
 will affect them and their relatives in a negative way. I concur with the idea that
this
Linking Words
 is the best way of making your life much more interesting and happier.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
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