One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is liberation in thoughts. Now people are beginning to realize that freedom of speech is vital important for society. In my opinion, I tend to agree with that sentence.

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is liberation in thoughts. Now
people
are beginning to realize that freedom of speech is
vital
Change the adjective
vitally
show examples
important for society. In my opinion, I tend to agree with that sentence.
Firstly
, it is well known that freedom of speech expresses
ideas
Correct article usage
the ideas
show examples
of the
people
regardless of social level. One of the main reasons behind
that is
people
can not feel fenced in choice,
then
cannot be
arrest
Wrong verb form
arrested
show examples
by staffs of justice. A good case in point is Sweden,
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
country for living and occupation. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
no punishment about own opinion, even no censorship of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
CNN.
People
are free in expression and can convey
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
without fear of
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it can
also
be argued that the government want to hear
citizens
Correct article usage
the citizens
show examples
of
them
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their
show examples
country.
That is
to
say
Add a comma
,say
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comments by
people
can enhance the living standard that
also
improve
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improves
show examples
loyalty to
government
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the government
show examples
. Take
for example
it is Switzerland,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
country
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
divided
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is divided
show examples
by
Change preposition
into
show examples
24 independent states, and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every state has chosen governor by citizens. Every year they are holding a referendum roughly 3-4 times
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
per year. There was a question about
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
of cosmetics
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
animals and each citizen had
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
to choose.
Then
it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significantly changed the attitude to cosmetics and attitude to the government. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can
sat
Correct your spelling
say
show examples
that freedom of speech
actually
Add a missing verb
is actually
show examples
important for
community
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the community
show examples
and in general it
is make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
us an individual personality.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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