IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
The inhabitants of the suburbs are leaving their villages in order to live in urban places in lots of states around the world, so the amount of population in rural places is declining. I conceive that,
this
 is not a good position. The moving of the huge
number
 of
people
 to the cities and the falling
number
 of residents in the outskirts may lead to some negative circumstances.
It is clear that
, as coming and staying of majority in the metropolis causes growing the
people
 there.
As a consequence
, there will be a lack of habitats
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and noise pollution, and
also
 traffic jams in the city centres.
As a result
, the cost of living will increase, the houses, transportation, clothes and other items, like furniture, construction equipment, and service at cafes or restaurants, parks, and other equipment will be more expensive, because, the population require more demand to these things.
Moreover
, having many
people
 causes more air pollution, because, the amount of litter will grow as there are a lot of inhabitants.
Furthermore
, the
number
 of workers who work in agriculture will fall as there are few populations in the countryside.
This
 affects the production of food resources.
As a result
, the costs of food production, like, fruits, vegetables, corn, rice, oil, and sugar will fall, and,
also
 exporting will decrease as well. In conclusion, I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 moving a large
number
 of
people
 to the metropolis may cause to negative situation.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: