Some people say free time activities for children should be organised by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, psychologists are keen to raise the awareness of parents about the importance of leisure
time
for children. They indicate that activities kids are involved in should be monitored and tailored Use synonyms
according to
their personalities and needs as well, Linking Words
However
, some consider that any activity ought to be as they choose not as parents wish. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss both points of view and my personal opinion will be presented in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with the first opinion, which I agree with, it is better for free Linking Words
time
to be useful to enhance the interpersonal skills of youngsters or to improve a hobby. Use synonyms
In other words
, they will get the most out of playing Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
For example
, Kidzania, which is a worldwide popular playing Linking Words
center
, is considered by experts as the best creative and entertainment place where children can play and learn at the same Change the spelling
centre
time
. Use synonyms
Besides
that, in Linking Words
such
Linking Words
experience
, they are given the chance to discover more about their interests and abilities. Correct article usage
an experience
Furthermore
, they socialize and cooperate with others and make new friends.
On the other side, Some opine that a child's life is guided by caretakers around the clock. Linking Words
Hence
, giving them a space of freedom to do whatever they wish is important to feel that they are responsible and have privacy. Linking Words
this
group of people argue that some may tend to force their kids to practice something they could not do when they were young Linking Words
such
as playing the piano or taking riding horses lessons, which their son/daughter dislikes or is not interested in. By Linking Words
this
, the effects will be deteriorating on their personalities and they could be under stress Linking Words
instead
of having fun and entertaining.
Linking Words
to conclude
, the aforementioned points clearly explain how I agree with organising the free play Linking Words
time
. Use synonyms
However
, on balance, youngsters should be allowed to select things they like to do but within limitations because if they were given unlimited choices they would certainly tend to play video games and virtual activities which would not encounter Linking Words
sedentary
lifestyle.Correct article usage
a sedentary
Submitted by nawartomry on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses both views clearly and presents a personal opinion, there is occasional overuse of commas and some grammatical inaccuracies. Be mindful of punctuation and double-check for grammatical errors.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, transitions between some ideas can be smoother. Using more varied linking phrases will help improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and includes a personal opinion, which strengthens the essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction sets the stage well for the discussion and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while emphasizing a balanced perspective.
relevant specific examples
The use of real-world examples, such as Kidzania, adds credibility and relevance to the arguments presented.