Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #benefit #teenager #society

Some people argue that the

government

should stop rebuilding ancient

buildings

and

instead

focus on constructing new housing and

buildings

. From my perspective, I think it is better to restore old

buildings

rather than demolish or abandon them. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand, ancient

buildings

are important cultural assets.

Therefore

, I believe it is better to save and restore them.

For example

, in Britain, many old

buildings

and castles are open to the public.

This

not only creates job opportunities but

also

attracts tourism, bringing in a significant amount of money.

Additionally

, abandoned sites often attract negative

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For instance

, abandoned cities attract drug abusers,

criminals

Correct word choice

and criminals

show examples

, and deteriorate the

overall

appearance of the city.

On the other hand

, the cost of constructing new houses and

buildings

is high for the

government

. It would be more beneficial for the

government

to focus on other projects

such

as hospitals and schools. If the

government

tries to build new houses, they may have to remove natural green areas where many wild animals and plants live.

This

would result in more deforestation and contribute to the consequences of climate change.

Therefore

, it is better for governments to preserve wildlife. In conclusion, the

government

must make the right decisions in order to protect the environment and ensure a good quality of life for its citizens. Evaluate the following essay

according to

IELTS

Correct article usage

the IELTS

show examples

band description for

writing

Correct article usage

the writing

show examples

task and extract any mistakes

Submitted by aloye.ahmed92 on Tue Aug 08 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

246 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

many employers offer their employees gyms,sports club. Others believe that it is unnecessary. discuss both views and give your own opinion .

Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?

It has been believed that people who read for pleasure have developed imagination and good language skills than those who prefer to watch T.V. Do you agree or disagree?

Students should not be allowed to use mobile phones at school. Do you agree or disagree with this view

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.