This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.
The presented graph provides information about a quota of 4 various
materials
- Paper & cardboard, glass containers, aluminium
cans
, and
plastics
which were returned within 28 years
period
. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that the total amount of recycled
materials
increased over the given
period
.
However
, not all types of
materials
indicate
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
growth rates in
this
matter.
While
the amount of
Aliminium
Correct your spelling
Aluminium
cans
and
plastics
increased gradually when
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
of paper& cardboard and glasses contains have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
in
this
period
. As is illustrated by the graph, in 1982 just glass containers were returned 50% and 65% respectively.
However
, in the following years glass
materials
experienced
consistent
Correct article usage
a consistent
show examples
decrease
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
10%, and
then
had risen
systematicly
Correct your spelling
systematically
systematic
and reached from 40% to 60% in 2010.
While
cardboard and paper rates fluctuated in 1990, the proportion improved to 80% but
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped to 70%
at the end
of the
period
. It is demonstrated that recycling
aliminium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
cans
and
plastics
started later in the years 1986 and 1990 respectively.
Aliminium
Correct your spelling
Aluminium
cans
demonstrated
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
show examples
rise during the whole
period
. In 1986 the rate of
aliminium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
cans
just was under 10% but
this
proportion drastically increased and end of the
period
reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
45%. Meanwhile,
plastics
were the least recycled
materials
which accounted for 5% and end of the
period
only reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10%.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words cans, plastics, period, materials, aliminium with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • percentage
  • paper and cardboard
  • glass
  • plastic
  • metal
  • stable
  • noticeable
  • rise
  • significant increase
  • accounting for
  • consistent
  • ste steadily
  • dramatically
  • nearly
  • worth noting
  • relatively low
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