This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

#proportion #four #materials #country

The presented graph provides information about a quota of 4 various

materials

- Paper & cardboard, glass containers, aluminium

cans

, and

plastics

which were returned within 28 years

period

. Looking from an

overall

perspective, it is readily apparent that the total amount of recycled

materials

increased over the given

period

However

, not all types of

materials

indicate

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

growth rates in

this

matter.

While

the amount of

Aliminium

Correct your spelling

Aluminium

cans

and

plastics

increased gradually when

proportion

Add an article

the proportion

show examples

of paper& cardboard and glasses contains have

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

flactuation

Correct your spelling

fluctuation

fluctuations

this

period

. As is illustrated by the graph, in 1982 just glass containers were returned 50% and 65% respectively.

However

, in the following years glass

materials

experienced

consistent

Correct article usage

a consistent

show examples

decrease

approximately

Change preposition

of approximately

show examples

10%, and

then

had risen

systematicly

Correct your spelling

systematically

systematic

and reached from 40% to 60% in 2010.

While

cardboard and paper rates fluctuated in 1990, the proportion improved to 80% but

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dropped to 70%

at the end

of the

period

. It is demonstrated that recycling

aliminium

Correct your spelling

aluminium

cans

and

plastics

started later in the years 1986 and 1990 respectively.

Aliminium

Correct your spelling

Aluminium

cans

demonstrated

steady

Correct article usage

a steady

show examples

rise during the whole

period

. In 1986 the rate of

aliminium

Correct your spelling

aluminium

cans

just was under 10% but

this

proportion drastically increased and end of the

period

reached

Change preposition

apply

show examples

45%. Meanwhile,

plastics

were the least recycled

materials

which accounted for 5% and end of the

period

only reached

Change preposition

apply

show examples

10%.

Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on Tue Aug 08 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words cans, plastics, period, materials, aliminium with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
recycled
materials
percentage
paper and cardboard
glass
plastic
metal
stable
noticeable
rise
significant increase
accounting for
consistent
ste steadily
dramatically
nearly
worth noting
relatively low

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This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

some children spend hours every on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Why do many people visit museums when they travel to different countries or cities?

Now a days many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or an organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self employment

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do this advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Spending time online has affected the communication skills of young people both positively and negatively. Discuss the effects of increased online activity on communication skills.