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Writing Samples
Band 6

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.
#proportion #four #materials #country
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The presented graph provides information about a quota of 4 various
materials
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- Paper & cardboard, glass containers, aluminium
cans
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, and
plastics
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 which were returned within 28 years
period
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. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the total amount of recycled
materials
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 increased over the given
period
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.
However
Linking Words
, not all types of
materials
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 indicate
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 growth rates in
this
Linking Words
 matter.
While
Linking Words
 the amount of
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Aliminium
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Aluminium
cans
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 and
plastics
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 increased gradually when
proportion
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the proportion
show examples
 of paper& cardboard and glasses contains have
same
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the same
show examples
flactuation
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fluctuation
fluctuations
 in
this
Linking Words
period
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. As is illustrated by the graph, in 1982 just glass containers were returned 50% and 65% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, in the following years glass
materials
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 experienced
consistent
Correct article usage
a consistent
show examples
 decrease
approximately
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of approximately
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 10%, and
then
Linking Words
 had risen
systematicly
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systematically
systematic
 and reached from 40% to 60% in 2010.
While
Linking Words
 cardboard and paper rates fluctuated in 1990, the proportion improved to 80% but
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped to 70%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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. It is demonstrated that recycling
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aliminium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
cans
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 and
plastics
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 started later in the years 1986 and 1990 respectively.
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Aliminium
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Aluminium
cans
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 demonstrated
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 rise during the whole
period
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. In 1986 the rate of
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aliminium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
cans
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 just was under 10% but
this
Linking Words
 proportion drastically increased and end of the
period
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 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
45%. Meanwhile,
plastics
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 were the least recycled
materials
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 which accounted for 5% and end of the
period
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 only reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10%.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cans, plastics, period, materials, aliminium with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • recycled
  • materials
  • percentage
  • paper and cardboard
  • glass
  • plastic
  • metal
  • stable
  • noticeable
  • rise
  • significant increase
  • accounting for
  • consistent
  • ste steadily
  • dramatically
  • nearly
  • worth noting
  • relatively low
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