IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss

#people #parents #children’s #activities #children #freedom
Some people believe that supervising
children
's activities is necessary, but others argue that allowing them to act freely is more suitable.
While
 I'm more, agree with the second group with the idea of giving
children
 the best opportunity to experience things freely. Regarding the first group, considering
parents
' support and close partnership in their
child
's activity as an essential rule, they may are focused on the fact that some experiences could be dangerous at some early ages or even the fact that the
child
 has no idea about how wrong his decision can go and what results can be made through that action.
Parents
' control over a
child
's activities can help in
this
 case.
For instance
, a
child
 may try to find out about the nature of fire on his own, and with no one by his side, he may fall into great danger,
such
 as burning himself or even worse scenarios. The second belief,
on the other hand
, gives the
child
 an excellent opportunity to grow powerful and more independent from his family as soon as possible. The other advantage
children
 would experience from
this
 freedom is the level of creativity they achieve as they must find new ways to solve complex tasks. Take a
child
 who is free to choose between different items in Lego to build a house as an example. In
this
 case, by removing the presence of the
parents
, the
child
 will try to find novel ways each time he fails or even succeed in making what he wants.I entirely agree with the latter idea of letting
children
 find out about the world around them in a peaceful and isolated environment. It doesn't mean that
parents
 should let their
child
 alone or cut off their support when needed, but that they should believe in their
child
's decisions as they care and carefully look after his activities. On the whole,
while
 some groups of people think of supervising their
child
's activity as a must in their parental duty, others believe they can leave their
child
 to choose freely between options and decisions.
Submitted by sagarhasanzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: