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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the literacy rates of three different continents between 1930 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the literacy rates of three different continents between 1930 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart showed the
literacy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three different areas from 1930 to 2000.
Although
Linking Words
 the
literacy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 showed
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 difference at 15%, 39% and 68% in 1930, respectively, the difference gap became reduced in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was always the highest
literacy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in North
America
Use synonyms
. It grew up gradually than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two continents.
However
Linking Words
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
literacy
Use synonyms
 in North
America
Use synonyms
 was stable after 1970. The
literacy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rapidly in Asia
while
Linking Words
 the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 fell in North
America
Use synonyms
. The
rate
Use synonyms
 was under 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1930 but it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over 89
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. It was the same result in North
America
Use synonyms
 in 2000. It showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast growth in Asia.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
literacy
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in Africa rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
normally
exept
Correct your spelling
except
expect
 between 1940 and 1950. The growth of
Use synonyms
literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 between 1940 and 1950 was faster than others.
Although
Linking Words
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 increased, it was the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 in the graph.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words literacy, rate, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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