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Band 6

People increasingly talk about money. Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #money #development
In past, individuals held different
perspective
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perspectives
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 about money, where it was considered a source of livelihood only.
However
,
this
 mindset has changed completely
due to
trend
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the trend
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 of chasing things rather than giving more importance to the act of performing good deeds about it. I would
further
 elaborate
the
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on the
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 cause of
this
 big transformation, as it
affecting
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affects
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 the country's progress in a negative way. The major factor responsible
behind
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for
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 it is that individuals are becoming more materialistic. Probably, they have started believing that money is a prominent source of contentment.
This
 is why, most of
conversations
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the conversations
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 that are exchanged by them
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 related to finance
instead
 of selfless communication, where they assume that it may help them to make a rational decision about property investment.
For instance
, it is generally observed in
community
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the community
a community
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 that
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 prefer to take advice from their friends and relatives about their money investment rather than visiting
to
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apply
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any property consultant. Henceforth,
this
 trend
influence
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influences
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 others to do the same, where close relationships can be used or converted into
business
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the business
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 partnership to increase personal profit. I personally contend that
an
Correct article usage
the
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 abovementioned fact is pushing society towards negative progress.
In other words
, people are forgetting the real meaning or aim of their life.
Instead
 of helping others, they are showing
self-centered
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self-centred
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behaviors
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behaviours
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 that would not pass any good message to future generations. To exemplify,
although
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a
the
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number of educational institutes are being opened nowadays,
but
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apply
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with the goal of making
profit
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a profit
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, not
to impart
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imparting
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 education.
Thus
,
this
 egocentric approach could hamper the country's growth. In conclusion, on the basis of
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
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 points, it can be concluded that
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 self-obsessed reasons
of
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apply
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people make them
to
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apply
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act in a particular way, which can be disadvantageous for the whole world.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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