IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days, people are living into their 90s and beyond. As a result, the is increasing concern about care for elederly. Do you think it is the responsibility of the family to care for their elderly member or should be held responsible?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's modern world, a considerable number of
people
Use synonyms
 reach the age of 90's because of the best conditions of life. In my opinion, I believe that
governments
Use synonyms
 ought to take
care
Use synonyms
 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 since they are totally responsible for them. In the past, women had one job to take
care
Use synonyms
 of all members of the family, so they did a lot of things,
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning, cooking, and caring for ageing
people
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, couples work together in order to have decent lives because the cost of living is so high. At present, women are so busy, that they do not have enough time to take
care
Use synonyms
 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 because they must work full-time or part-time in companies and do housework simultaneously. Women are
consequently
Linking Words
 not capable of taking
care
Use synonyms
 of ageing
people
Use synonyms
 because they are busy.
Governments
Use synonyms
 should take responsibility for senior
people
Use synonyms
 because families are incapable and they pay many taxes, namely, VAT and income taxes. Another obvious reason why
governments
Use synonyms
 are totally responsible for senior
citizens
Use synonyms
 is that they provide skilled workers in residential homes. To put it simply, senior
people
Use synonyms
 need special medical treatments, and skilled staff who have enough knowledge and interesting experience in the healthcare field. Nursing homes are a great and healthy environment for elderly
people
Use synonyms
 to live peacefully and comfortably. Some families do not have the capability to take
care
Use synonyms
 of seniors, especially if they have special needs
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of medical knowledge. In conclusion,
governments
Use synonyms
 should take responsibility for senior
citizens
Use synonyms
 because they take taxes from
citizens
Use synonyms
 and have good medical staff in their nursing homes. If
governments
Use synonyms
 take
care
Use synonyms
 of senior
citizens
Use synonyms
, they will enjoy their lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • concern
  • elderly
  • care
  • family
  • government
  • society
  • resources
  • services
  • support
  • community
  • regulations
  • policies
  • quality of care
  • education
  • awareness
  • empower
What to do next:
Look at other essays: