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Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Many countries around the world are experiencing a decline in birth rates. In response, governments and various organizations are encouraging
women
 to have children by offering a range of benefits, including
maternity
 leave. In
this
 essay, I will share my thoughts on the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 initiative.
Firstly
,
maternity
 leave is crucial for working
women
 as it allows them to fulfil their maternal responsibilities.
Moreover
, many
women
 experience both physical and mental challenges after childbirth.
For instance
, a significant number of mothers struggle with postpartum depression, commonly referred to as 'baby blues.'
This
 condition can lead to overthinking, increased stress, and a loss of interest in daily activities, including their careers.
Maternity
 leave provides female employees the necessary time to focus on their newborns and prioritize their mental health.
Additionally
, it reassures
women
 that they can still maintain their jobs
while
 taking care of their children, reducing the likelihood of having to resign.
On the other hand
, some argue that
maternity
 leave can disadvantage other employees who do not give birth.
For example
, there are concerns that the workload may increase for those remaining at work when their female colleagues take
maternity
 leave.
However
, I believe it is the responsibility of companies to effectively manage their employees' workloads. Some organizations address
this
 issue by hiring temporary contract workers or freelancers to fill in during the absence of permanent staff. In conclusion, I believe the advantages of
maternity
 leave outweigh the disadvantages. Given the dual responsibilities of parenting and career development, female workers should be entitled to
maternity
 leave to effectively balance both roles.
Submitted by matty10 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the question comprehensively. While the essay covers the advantages and disadvantages, providing more examples or discussing broader implications could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Both coherence and cohesion can be enhanced by using more varied transitional phrases and linking words. This can help in making the essay flow more naturally and logically.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively outline the main points.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant to the task and provide a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of maternity leave.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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