IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #museum
Many
museums
 require an admission fee, others do not. I believe the advantages of
this
 far outweigh the disadvantages because, without it,
museums
 would not be able to protect their collection well. On the one hand, entrance
fees
 may discourage the number of visitors.
For instance
, in China, all
museums
 are free for Chinese citizens, so low-income families who can not afford places
such
 as amusement parks and movie theaters, often take their children to
museums
 to spend their weekends. They may stop visiting if they have to pay to enter.
However
,
according to
 my observation, most people go there not to appreciate exhibits but to enjoy the free air-conditioning. They make noise and overcrowd the museum.
Therefore
, I think decreasing the number of visitors would not be a bad thing.
On the other hand
, entrance
fees
 allow
museums
 to upkeep their collections.
Due to
 changes in climate, natural disasters are happening more and more frequently. By charging admission
fees
,
museums
 can afford high-tech methods to minimize the impact of these disasters.
For example
, with revenue from admission
fees
, the New York City's Whitney Museum of American Art was able to build an up-to-date flooding wall, which protects its works from
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 flooding of rivers nearby. I think
this
 is a great advantage because some of their collections are masterpieces from the past. And keep it safe is important for our cultural heritage. In conclusion, a paid model may deter the number of visitors, I think
this
 disadvantage far outweighs
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advantage that the money raised helps the museum to keep its collections well.
Submitted by vivekchovatiya8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: