Nowadays many teenagers have a celebrity who they follow as a role model. Some people think this is not a good idea, because celebrities often set a bad example. Do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #celebrity #role #model #people #idea #celebrities

It is true that many individuals believe that it is not a beneficial idea when many youngsters these days tend to set their idols as a model to follow since celebrities usually have a bad influence. Personally, I partly agree with

this

view

due to

Change preposition

for

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some reasons. On the one hand, there are some people who are famous just because they are rich or involved in some viral negative news on different social media. Their lifestyle somehow has a harmful impact on the young generation as they just show how they splurge money and do not pay attention to their occupation or studying since they are already wealthy.

This

leads to the problem that many young children who do not have enough experience in life mimic their bad behaviour.

For example

, Paris Hilton is only popular for the property inherited from her grandfather and her scandals.

On the other hand

, I am convinced that there are still lots of celebrities who have great manners around the world. They are usually well-known for not only their abilities and personalities but

also

their education.

Besides

entertaining activities, they spend most of their time practising their skills or doing charity work in order to help orphans or poor families have better living conditions.

Moreover

, any campaigns they represent usually attract numerous participants around the world thanks to their good behaviour towards the public.

For instance

, Nguyen Thuc Thuy Tien, Miss Grand International 2021, a very optimistic and well-educated woman, usually hold different activities to raise fund for the poor and encourage many youngsters to be more confident. In conclusion, it seems to me that celebrities are not always a bad example. It is necessary for parents to educate their kids well so that they are able to choose correctly who they should follow as a role model.

Submitted by danphamngocha on Wed Aug 09 2023

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Task Response

Ensure a clear position is maintained throughout the essay. Use specific examples to support your points, but be careful not to repeat them too often.

Coherence and Cohesion

Connect your ideas more explicitly throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.

Lexical Resource

Vary your vocabulary and use more sophisticated expressions and idiomatic phrases. Be cautious with repetition of words and phrases.

Grammatical Range

Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and a mix of simple, compound, and complex structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and appropriate verb tenses.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many teenagers have a celebrity who they follow as a role model. Some people think this is not a good idea, because celebrities often set a bad example. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Task 2: Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

Your friend has a baby recently and you bought a present for baby. Write a letter and - Describe what you bought? - Why you choose that present? - Suggest some arrangements to visit your friend to bring the present.