Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child

Nowadays, parents often give their offspring lots of toys, whether it is for their enjoyment or learning.

This

essay will discuss the pros and cons outcomes that might happen to children in

this

situation. The main positive outcome of having various kinds of toys is beneficial for

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

learning process. Some toys are capable of teaching them how to read, showing them animals to recognize, and many more.

For example

, when they are playing house using miniature furniture with their friends

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

indirectly increasing their social skills. Surely,

this

will be useful for them in the future when starting school so they will befriend others with ease.

On the other hand

, these playthings

also

have downsides. Kids could develop unwanted habits by playing too much with themselves.

For instance

, when given a portable or console device, they tend to have a really fun time, to the point where they lose track of time and interest in anything else. Kids can harbour anti-social behaviour, laziness,

short-tempered

Correct your spelling

short-temperedness

, and detachedness from the real world. Without proper limitations from parent figures, it can cause a serious addiction

that is

hard to control when they grow up. In conclusion, parents who gift their young ones with an abundance of games can be a double-edged sword. The benefits are that it can be used as a learning step for their growth process and get them used to socializing. The drawbacks are they can suffer from gaming syndrome, and the inability to stop themselves from engaging in their game session. As long as there is parental supervision and strict rules, the drawbacks are preventable.

Submitted by desyaf99 on Sat Jan 20 2024

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Introduction

Ensure that your introduction clearly sets up the structure of the essay. This has been done effectively, but double-check to see if you can offer a more direct statement about the forthcoming advantages and disadvantages.

Supporting Paragraphs

Develop main points with a mix of general explanations and specific examples. The essay presents good examples, but include more specific scenarios or data to illustrate points, if possible.

Linking & Cohesion

Maintain coherence by using linking phrases and topic sentences effectively. Consider using a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow of your writing further.

Relevancy & Examples

Check the completeness of your examples and their direct relevance to the question. Make sure that every example given is fully explained and clearly tied back to the question's main topic.

Argument Consistency

Aim for a consistent and clear argument throughout the essay. There is a well-balanced approach to the advantages and disadvantages, but ensure a crystal-clear position is presented and upheld consistently.

Conclusion

Your conclusion works well to summarize the essay's main points, but it could also briefly touch on the implications or the significance of the balance between the advantages and disadvantages.

Language Range & Accuracy

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to showcase linguistic skills while ensuring accuracy to boost your potential score to a higher band.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some cities have few control over design and construction on housing and office buildings. People think that they are free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the technology advancement enables people to entertain at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.