“Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example,through cellphone tracking and security cameras) . In many cases, the people being monitored and unaware that this is happening . Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?”

Currently
due to
technological change actions and views of a human , outside his awareness,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
become subject to close observation.
This
type of “security measure “ leads to a complete loss of privacy
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
personality life ,and, in my opinion ,the drawbacks of technology outweigh the benefits.
Therefore
, governments should use those safety mechanisms but not overdo them. On the one hand, those modern developments are beneficial for humankind because they ensure the safety of people’s lives. They help representatives of the authorities prevent events dangerous for citizens,
such
as terrorist attacks, robberies,
planned
Correct word choice
and planned
show examples
murders.
Also
,
due to
technological monitoring, law enforcement has the opportunity to observe former prisoners. And
for instance
, if one of them decides to return to a previous
lifebeing
Correct your spelling
life being
and commit any
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
, the police will immediately be aware of it and be able to avert it.
Moreover
, knowing that the place in which a person spends time is under supervision, he feels calmer and does not need to worry about his safety.
On the other hand
,
this
can make people feel paranoid that their every movement is being overwatched .
Thus
, it can lead to a whole layer of humans who are afraid to do or think something awry.To illustrate ,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the book “1984” by George Orwell is presented a dystopian world, where the heroes are supervised even in their homes through TV screens .
This
law does not make anyone feel happy and deprives them of any freedom,
however
, unfortunately,
this
is a state foundation , which no one can violate.
To conclude
,modern technology development ,
for example
, security cameras ,permits us to create a safer environment and radically reduce the criminal rate . Still, from my perspective , any surveillance should be done in moderation , without violating the privacy of
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
residence .
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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