IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditure in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
The pie charts illustrate the average household expenditure in two different countries (
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
) on five different categories (housing, transport, food, health care, and other goods and service) in one particular year (2010).
Overall
Linking Words
, housing made up the highest proportion of expenditure in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
, it was on other goods and services.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, both countries had the lowest spending on healthcare. With regards to housing,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 spent more money on it as opposed to
Japan
Use synonyms
 at around a third (34%) and approximately a fifth (21%) respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the former country had more spending on food compared to the latter by 3%. In terms of other goods and services, people in
Japan
Use synonyms
 spend more of their income in
this
Linking Words
 category than those who were in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 by a small fraction (3%).
Moreover
Linking Words
, the Japanese spend double the amount on transportation than
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the Japanese spent more money on healthcare compared to the Malaysian, the difference was very minimal (3%)

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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