IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #children #years #age
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Some
individauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 believe that formal
education
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 should begin for
children
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 as early as possible.
whereas
Linking Words
 others feel that it should not start until 7
years
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 of
age
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. In my opinion,
children
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 should start formal
education
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 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
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 because it can speed up
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 process among
children
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 , and make
children
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 more social. On the one hand, some think
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 should begin their formal
education
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 at 7
years
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 of
age
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.
This
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 is because
start
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starting
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 at 7
years
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make
Verb problem
takes
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children
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 away from
stress
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the stress
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 of school at
early
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an early
show examples
age
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 namely,
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
, and exams.
Therefore
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,
this
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 trend
make
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makes
show examples
children
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 less
vulnberable
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vulnerable
 to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 mental health issues
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 depression, anxiety, and stress at early
age
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.
Furthermore
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,
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 formal
education
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 for
children
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 at 7
years
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 is considered economic for parents.
This
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 is because parents do not need to register their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
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, which
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can save a considerable amount of money for families.
On the other hand
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, I would like to agree with those people who believe
children
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 should begin their formal
education
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 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 stage.
To begin
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 with,
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 school at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
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 can
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 process among
children
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. To illustrate,
children
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 at
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
age
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 are more likely to absorb information faster than other
age
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Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.
Consequently
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,
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
children
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their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 formal
education
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 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 stage can enhance the outcomes of
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education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 system.
Moreover
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,
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 formal
education
Use synonyms
 for
children
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 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
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 can make
children
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 more social. To demonstrate,
children
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 in school have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to
intract
Correct your spelling
interact
 with their peers and teachers, which
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help
children
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 to improve their communication skills at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 stage.
As a result
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,
children
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 will feel less
loneliness
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lonely
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 and isolated.
To sum up
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, From my perspective,
children
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 should join formal
education
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 at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
due to
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 it can
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
show examples
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 process among
children
Use synonyms
, and make
children
Use synonyms
 more social.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Make sure to organize your ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your response to the task prompt is not fully complete, and it lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas. Focus on addressing all aspects of the question and provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
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