Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Many people suppose that a good method to bring individuals from a variety of nations or stages of life is music. I totally agree with

this

opinion

due to

the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, music is a universal form of art. lyrics and rhythm can be listened to by each and every person in

this

world, regardless of age, social status, race, or gender.

This

is because melodies do not need the same language to be understood as long as it has a wonderful melody that can touch our hearts and resonate with our minds.

For instance

, Korean pop sounds are currently well-known in every part of the world, engaging people in different countries and cultures, and it can unite society members from different stages of age.

Moreover

, melodies can evoke strong emotions in individuals of all ages and backgrounds. By way of example, songs composed about family bonds always make audiences feel related to and even touched. In recent decades, the public has used musical sounds as a therapy for anyone who has to deal with various physical and emotional challenges.

For example

, lots of patients have found healing and connection thanks to

this

method.

As a result

, their health becomes better physically

as well as

mentally.

To sum up

, even though there are people who think that other factors might affect

this

issue, I do agree with

this

statement because there are no obstacles when it comes to music which promotes mood and reduces stress.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Nov 09 2021

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coherence cohesion

It is important to present your ideas in a structured manner, with clear paragraphs and logical connections between them. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all parts of your response are coherent with the overall argument you are making.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has an introduction and conclusion, they could be strengthened for better impact and clarity. Consider utilising a more powerful thesis statement and summarise your main points more effectively in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, but they could be enhanced with clearer and more specific examples. Consider using statistics, factual information, or anecdotal evidence to illustrate your points more convincingly.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. While your agreement with the statement is clear, further exploration of potential counterarguments or different perspectives could provide a more rounded discussion.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but at times they could be expressed more comprehensively. Work on expanding your argument by exploring the implications and subtleties of your points to make your response more thorough.

task achievement

Providing specific examples strengthens your essay by grounding your ideas in reality. You have started to do this, but offering more detailed examples from a variety of contexts would enhance your argument's relevancy and persuasiveness.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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