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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, many people have access to online media globally.
Thus
, they can easily follow live games on their TVs and other devices.
Consequently
,
this
 has led to a rapid expansion of the
sports
 coverage industry all around the world. Some, including me, argue
this
 level of broadcasting would result in less interest among youngsters to participate in
sports
 in person. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the issue and illustrate my point of view as well.
To begin
 with, taking part in any type of sport not only has a dramatic effect on human health but
also
 creates a sense of pleasure which could not be replaced in any way.
Firstly
, when youngsters
are getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 used to watching matches in online forms, it would build a sort of culture within their society in which the pleasure of following and viewing live games replaces the real purpose of the
sports
 itself.
For example
,
instead
 of playing football in playgrounds, folks prefer to stay home and watch live football competitions broadcast on TV.
Secondly
, the more individuals
pass
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 their free time in their homes, the less the authorities will invest in public exercise facilities.
Hence
, both the general tendency of the community and the necessary instruments for exercise gradually would decrease within the community.
On the other hand
, there might be a few benefits to covering all sorts of
sports
 on television.
This
 level of broadcasting could help create various jobs and
thus
 a large amount of money turnover
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
consequently
 sanctioning more taxes by the government on them and a better economy in the end. In conclusion, despite some beneficial aspects of covering game competitions on television, from my perspective,
due to
 the negative consequences on youngsters’ health and future life resulting from the trend, the level of these programs should be limited in order to prevent its drawbacks.
Submitted by m.lotfipour92 on

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coherence cohesion
Expand on the benefits of covering sports on television to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer explanation of how the sports coverage on television affects the tendency of the community and the investment in public exercise facilities.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay responds fully to the prompt by discussing both views in more detail and expressing a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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