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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of social media is replacing face to face interaction among many people in society. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #face #interaction #people #society
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In
this
Linking Words
 digital age, social
media
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 has deeply infiltrated everyone's life in lieu of face-to-face conversation. The statement does produce certain positive effects, but in my opinion, they would be overshadowed by undesirable impacts. It is conceivable why some subscribe to the view that the advent of social
media
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 platforms has contributed an enormous amount of benefits to people's
life
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lives
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. Not only
do
Verb problem
are
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 individuals
be
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apply
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able to globally connect with their old friends and far-away relatives, but they
also
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 meet new online friends around the world with whom they share common interests, helping mutually in studying or working sessions. To illustrate, it was during the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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 pandemic that the Vietnamese authorities had to formulate a new domestic policy which
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 all of the residents to stay in quarantine at home. So, there
was
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were
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 barely any public places open at that time, schools and
workplace
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workplaces
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are
Wrong verb form
were
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 no exception, which
give
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gave
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 rise to greater use of social
media
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 apps for people to hold virtual meetings, give lectures to students and keep in touch with
beloved
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loved
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 ones, all via online
network
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networks
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.
Therefore
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, considering social
media
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 as a more powerful communication tool than direct talking does seem justifiable.
Nevertheless
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, in spite of the above arguments, I'm inclined to think that the cons outweigh the pros.
First,
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the key rationale is those who easily fall prey to online communication abuse. As the proliferation of cyberbullying has detrimental effects on people's mental health,
this
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 would even lead to feeling depressed or committing suicide by the victims without the intervention.
Second,
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due to
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 the excessive use of social networking sites, children and adults may addict to them, which contributes to a decline in productivity and a vast of health issues. Still, they would be more likely to neglect how pivotal it is to form novel relationships in reality.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that the downsides of social
media
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 substituting face-to-face conversation are more significant than the benefits users could reap from those sites.
Submitted by anhthu3826 on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question are answered fully, and support all points with examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a clear, well-structured essay. Ensure that ideas are logically connected, and that there is a strong introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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